Preface

cost of admission
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/19415509.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Alphabet Squadron - Alexander Freed
Relationship:
Wyl Lark/Nath Tensent
Character:
Nath Tensent, Wyl Lark, Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags:
Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pining, Friendship, Developing Relationship, casual touching, Nath Tensent Has It Bad And Won't Admit It, Homesickness
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2019-06-30 Words: 1,092 Chapters: 1/1

cost of admission

Summary

They’d all had to sacrifice something in staying with Alphabet Squadron and Wyl was the only one who got nothing out of it.

cost of admission

These days, Nath didn’t like leaving Wyl on his own for too long. It’d taken him a while to notice, but that boy got melancholy at the drop of a hat, quicker than you could think. Look away and you’d look back and see him with the tiniest frown on his mouth—at least until he noticed you looking and then he’d smile again, bright as could be. It wasn’t good, kids that young being that sad. The fact that Nath knew exactly why he was always so down—and, even more shocking, actually cared—only made it worse.

Which was why Nath hovered so much. Least that was what he told himself. Wyl couldn’t go Home until they completed their mission. (Nath heard the importance of Home in the word when Wyl said it; it wasn’t just a home to him. It was Home. Not only a general descriptor, but a specific one and yes, he got the difference.)

They’d all had to sacrifice something in staying with Alphabet Squadron and Wyl was the only one who got nothing out of it.

Nothing except a washed up old reprobate for a friend, Nath supposed.

Nath could be that, even if he wasn’t very good at it. Quell and Chass and Karios still weren’t too interested in friendship, not that Nath blamed them and Force knew they tried, but Wyl was the only one suffering for it. Put a lot of pressure on Nath. He knew the costs of getting close to people after all. But someone had to if Wyl was going to be able to keep watching their asses for them without breaking down mid-flight, the stress finally winding him all the way around the bend of his own sanity. Everyone broke eventually if there was no relief.

Wyl was the kind who found that relief in other people—but sadly not in an easy to solve kind of way. Nath might have tumbled him into bed already if that was the problem.

No, Wyl’s problem ran deeper than that. And spending the evening cajoling a genuine smile out of him was what he’d earned himself by looking so stars-damned down all throughout their post-mission briefing earlier in the day, then for him disappearing for a good three hours after he did a quick check of his comms afterward and told them all he was heading to the canteen for a while, he’d catch up with them later.

This whole time, Nath never expected the purity of Wyl’s grin as he crossed the shabby room, the excited way he waved Nath over, when Nath hadn’t even really expected him to still be here. “Nath! I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet.”

“I don’t meet people, kid,” he said: a joke, which Wyl took as one, as did his companion, an even prettier man than Wyl and just as young. Perfect for Wyl, blond and carefree. Not a damned thing like Nath. “Nath Tensent.”

Wyl didn’t have to explain who he was. It was obvious enough even before Wyl said it. “He’s one of the One-Hundred and Twenty.” He paused for a moment, considering, like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to issue the invitation that was soon out of his mouth anyway. “Why don’t you join us?”

“Please do. I’m Kavith Sing,” the man replied, not quite as enthused as Wyl. Nath almost asked if they revered birds on Home or if it was a coincidence. Even their names matched. Nath hated him on sight and the feeling seemed to be mutual if Kavith’s narrow green eyes were any indication.

That was okay with Nath, though. Nath had better things to do and clearly Wyl would be fine for one night if he was already smiling that brightly. “Nice to meet you,” he said, gruffer than intended. “I’ll leave you both to it. I’m sure you’ve got a lot to catch up about. Don’t need me hanging about.” He got a few feet before he turned around, opened his big mouth again. “You sticking around, Sing?”

“No. I’m just here for a refuel,” Kavith replied, unaware or unheeding of the pained twist of Wyl’s mouth at how quickly he answered, like he couldn’t wait to be out of here. Grade-A asshole material as far as Nath was concerned, saying that kind of shit in front of Wyl. “I’m heading Home in the morning.” There was a sudden hint of sadness in Kavith’s eyes, too, which eased Nath’s anger a bit. Guy wasn’t totally stupid then. “I was hoping Wyl’d come with me.”

Wyl suddenly found his lap the most interesting spot in the room. When Nath was drunk and feeling lonely and thinking Wyl was much too nice to a guy like him, he could sympathize with that, but right now all he wanted to do was punch Kavith in the face. Who was he to dangle that possibility in front of Wyl when it would only hurt him in the end?

Then again, everything seemed to hurt Wyl a little bit in the end. It was for that reason that Nath probably should have walked away and left them to hash this out themselves. Nath invited chaos and pain into situations and it made Nath wish Wyl would tell them all to kriff off, that he was going Home no matter what.

But Nath was selfish and dumb and liked Wyl more than he was entirely comfortable with, wanting him to stick it out here with them. So it wasn’t as much of a surprise as it should have been when he said, “Why don’t I buy the next round,” instead of walking away like he’d thought to, like a gentleman would, let them talk it out, give Kavith the chance to talk him around.

He absolutely was not staggered by pleasure when Wyl relaxed back into the high, cushioned back of his seat and threw a grateful look Nath’s way as he pushed a glass in Wyl’s direction. Wyl’s favorite, swill masquerading as glowwine. Or glowwine masquerading as something stronger, Nath wasn’t sure beyond knowing Wyl preferred it to everything else on tap even though it was disgusting and fizzy and bitter on the tongue.

Wyl patted him on the thigh, squeezing lightly before drawing his hand back as Nath settled next to him, and that didn’t stagger him either.

At least that was what he told himself.

As far as lies went, it wasn’t even the biggest one he’d told himself today.

Just the most painful.