Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow Wei Wuxian, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, Nonsexual BDSM, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining Wei Wuxian, Jealous Wei Wuxian, Touch-Starved Wei Wuxian, Professional Dominant Wei Wuxian, Sex Worker Wei Wuxian, Gentle Dom Lan Wangji, Mean Dom Lan Wangji, Oblivious Lan Wangji, Past Wen Chao/Wei Wuxian, Minor Jin Guangyao/Wei Wuxian, Mentioned Wei Wuxian/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Wangxian, Mo Xuanyu Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, wei wuxian is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note
The days fall into a rhythm that is reminiscent of the summer breaks of Wei Wuxian’s youth, that brilliant month-long period between the end of one year of classes and the start of the next. He wakes when he wants, sleeps when he wants, plays when he wants, though anticipation for a very specific sort of play threatens to gut him. He feeds the fish with Lan Zhan and listens to Lan Zhan play the guqin and makes tea for himself and Lan Zhan. His greatest ambition is brewing a cup so perfect that Lan Zhan unconsciously smiles at it. They sleep together and touch one another and talk about the world as it is now, because that’s something Wei Wuxian can do, having caught up on what it became in his absence from it. He’s baffled by a lot of it, but there’s also a lot of TV to catch up on, and novels, and anything else he might be interested in seeing that being baffled seems like the least of his problems.
But it’s not enough. Rather, the promise of future mischief keeps distracting him from the present. What they have is enough, but what they will have is so tantalizing that he can’t help being drawn off the straight and narrow path.
As he dusts the bedroom, body half under the bed as he swipes the floor—a pleasant tingle of an order from Lan Zhan guiding him in the task—he retrieves the silly device he built and dusts it, too. He remembers what it had felt like when he’d made it, what he envisioned doing with it. It seems like such a pathetic stopgap now that he can’t help but huff at it in amusement.
A knock on the door frame pulls Wei Wuxian’s attention away from it. “Lan Zhan,” he says. “Take a look at this.”
“What is it?”
It would be more obvious if he retrieved a dildo, but it’s fun watching Lan Zhan imagine what it might do, his gaze growing heavy, his ears turning red. To aid him, Wei Wuxian kneels suggestively near the bed and the toy, upper body half-draped on the mattress, and watches Lan Zhan’s eyes light up with knowing.
“How stable is the base?”
The base is wide enough, but he has to admit, he wasn’t looking at safety too deeply in this respect.
“Make it more stable,” Lan Zhan says. “Then we’ll see. I’ve arranged something else for you as well.” He looks again at the device. “If I’d known you were interested in wood, I would have taken that into consideration.”
Wei Wuxian swallows, glances at Lan Zhan’s lower body. “Little too late to profess otherwise, don’t you think?”
Lan Zhan levels a glare at him, says, “Behave,” and leaves the room. Wei Wuxian laughs again and gets to work on his new project.
*
“What motivated you to make this?” Lan Zhan asks as Wei Wuxian shows the device off, now with a more solid base and a few bands that will wrap around his legs to keep it in place. Standing in the middle of the bedroom like this, it looks lewd, and Wei Wuxian is left wishing he hadn’t chosen such a garish color for the dildo he’s fixed to it. Lan Zhan studies it, tries to move the neck that Wei Wuxian once dreamed could be made adjustable, but it’s as solid as he could make it, unshakeable. Wei Wuxian won’t injure himself on it at least, not that that was ever the intention before. It’s not that sort of toy. It’s not even meant for anything extreme. Just.
“I wanted to kneel,” Wei Wuxian admits, a strange mix of shyness, embarrassment, and desire flitting around inside of him, “and I wanted to feel full, and frankly, I needed a hobby of some sort.”
“You did this often?”
“Nothing very elaborate. Mostly shaped toys. A few items I used on clients when they had very specific tastes and nothing I could find would suffice. I didn’t really know what I wanted when I put it together. I just wanted something, and it had to be something that didn’t require anyone else to help with.”
“I understand,” Lan Zhan says. He studies it for a few moments longer and then looked at Wei Wuxian’s face. His expression is contemplative and easy, thrilling to Wei Wuxian, who doesn’t yet know what this means or what Lan Zhan is preparing to do with him as a result of his study. “Bring it into the living room, and disrobe once you’re there.”
Wei Wuxian shivers and nods and says yes, not quite demure, but not far off it either as he agrees, following Lan Zhan with the toy held in his hands.
Once they’re in the living room, he moves slowly through Lan Zhan’s order, as though caught in a dream, watching Lan Zhan watch him as he fights to remove the carefully laced shirt Lan Zhan had put him in that morning. “Lan Zhan, are you teasing me on purpose?”
“What makes you think that?” Lan Zhan asks casually from the chair he favors, one leg crossed over the other.
“It’s not nice to give me an order I can’t complete.”
“Did you want me to be nice?”
Of course not, but that doesn’t stop Wei Wuxian from pouting. He turns away from Lan Zhan, shows the stretch of his back, and pretends he can’t reach. “All you have to do is pull. You can do that, can’t you?”
“I could,” Lan Zhan says agreeably.
“Lan Zhan!” he says, scowling, even though he loves it when Lan Zhan is like this, play pretending he wn’t do anything Wei Wuxian wanted. The best part is he thinks Lan Zhan likes it, too, pretending he would deny Wei Wuxian these things just so he can enjoy how spoiled Wei Wuxian will act about it.
Lan Zhan smiles a sly, barely there smile and finally stands. His hands drift down Wei Wuxian’s sides, grip his hips to pull him almost flush against Lan Zhan’s front. Finally, he takes hold of the lace that runs up and down his back and tugs. The shirt falls away, fluttering to the floor around his feet. Cool air brushes against his overheated skin, causing his bare skin to prickle. “How will you pay for this favor now that I’ve done this for you?”
“Ah?” Wei Wuxian says, affecting an ingenue’s air of naïveté. “What could Lan Zhan mean?”
“I’ve been looking to redecorate the living room,” Lan Zhan whispers, his voice rumbling low against Wei Wuxian’s ear. “I haven’t found a good centerpiece yet.”
Lan Zhan’s hands drift down the front of Wei Wuxian’s skirt.
“Would you be willing to serve?”
Wei Wuxian nods, breathes deeply, exhales a full-throated yes.
“Good.”
Less good is the fact that Lan Zhan steps away from him and takes the skirt with him.
He tells Wei Wuxian to hold still. Then, as though that’s not enough, he tells Wei Wuxian he’ll be back.
Wei Wuxian was perhaps not wearing anything beneath that skirt, and maybe he thinks Lan Zhan knew it. Though he might try his best, he definitely can’t ensure at least one part of him will remain still, but he promises Lan Zhan he’ll do his best.
If he is to be punished for not meeting standard, well. He’s more than willing to accept it.
*
As soon as Lan Zhan returns, Wei Wuxian understands what Lan Zhan meant earlier about Wei Wuxian’s taste in materials. In his hands are several metal bands, gold to match the collar he’s still wearing. They’re various sizes, from small enough to fit his wrists to large enough to fit his chest and several sizes in between.
Lan Zhan is careful, deliberate as he places one after the other on him. One is a perfect match for his chest. It barely avoids rubbing against his nipples, which is a bit of a disappointment, but Wei Wuxian suspects that’s deliberate. The fourth and fifth fit around his torso. To be honest, Wei Wuxian isn’t sure how they’re kept in place, maybe some kind of latching mechanism that he’ll be sure to investigate later for his own reasons. The last one sits above the collar as though sized to fit with the collar he only takes off to clean or so Lan Zhan can make sure his skin hasn’t been rubbed raw by it.
Lastly, he brings out a long piece, thicker and gently curving to match the shape of his spine. It’s long enough to run from the gold band around his neck to the one around his waist. As Lan Zhan attaches it, it forces Wei Wuxian to adopt a posture so perfect, he’s brought right back to his days at Cloud Recesses.
“These would look nice in wood,” Wei Wuxian says as he looks down at himself, “but there’s something about the gold, too.”
“You would look good in anything,” Lan Zhan says brazenly. His words, how quickly and earnestly he speaks them, send a burst of pleasure through Wei Wuxian. His fingers gently adjust the bands. “Is it comfortable enough?”
Wei Wuxian nods. Lan Zhan has thought of everything. The piece that runs along his spine curves away slightly, just enough that the edges don’t dig into his skin.
“Then would you like to kneel for me, Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan might as well have pushed him to the ground with his own hands for how willing Wei Wuxian is. Wei Wuxian nods happily. “Tell me.”
“Yes.”
Lan Zhan retrieves a thin, rectangular cushion from the couch, places it in front of the toy. “Show me.”
“You’ve really thought of everything, haven’t you?” Wei Wuxian asks as he settles himself in, the cushion gentling the effect of the hardwood on his knees. “Er-gege is too soft-hearted.” Though Lan Zhan cuts an unamused look in his direction, Wei Wuxian doesn’t stop himself from teasing as he works the toy inside. “I’m surprised he was willing to let a piece of silicone touch me before he does.”
It’s better than considering just how long it’s been since he’s done this, how wide the stretch feels, how awkward it is to press fingers into himself first that he might not have needed even a few months ago just to fit the toy he’d made for himself with himself in mind. The additional struggle the posture trainer adds does nothing to make things easier. Probably, that’s the point.
The only thing that stops him from giving up entirely is the expression on Lan Zhan’s face, one that’s not unlike that of a man who’s wandered into an oasis. It would transfix Wei Wuxian if he didn’t have more important things to do for Lan Zhan at the moment.
“He’s so principled, my gege is,” Wei Wuxian adds, not above admitting to himself that his panting probably isn’t helping his stance much. “Letting me look this ridiculous for him.” By the time he’s worked the toy inside and adjusted himself so he’s properly on his knees, he truly does feel like he’s the centerpiece of a display, a sculpture carved out of bone and muscle and sinew. Because he cannot move, he feels everything, the trickle of the small amount of lube he could get away with while Lan Zhan watched, displeased, saying Wei Wuxian should take more care in preparing himself, the tension in his muscles, the heat of Lan Zhan’s gaze as he rounds Wei Wuxian’s body, admiring.
“Do you like it?”
Lan Zhan makes a noise of assent before kneeling behind him and gently taking hold of his wrists, wrapping each in a gold band with a small, circular decoration.
“Dolling me up even more, Lan Zhan? So pretty.”
“You talk a great deal for an ornament,” he replies. “These are not for decoration.”
“What—” But it’s immediately obvious when Lan Zhan brings his wrists close to the spine of the posture trainer. With a snap, they suddenly touch and then don’t move. Even when Wei Wuxian pulls, there’s resistance. He could yank his arm away, but it would take a bit of effort. “Magnets?”
“More flexible than having them mounted on a specific spot.”
“Huh.”
Lan Zhan rises smoothly from his crouch and rounds on Wei Wuxian, stroking his hair, pulling it, bringing Wei Wuxian’s face up. “You will remain still and quiet. The longer you are, the better it will be for you.”
“What happens if I’m not quiet?”
“I don’t believe your knees will enjoy it very much.”
A throb of arousal blooms within him, making his body ache with want for Lan Zhan. It doesn’t even matter what Lan Zhan might do for him, he still aches for it, still needs it. But at the same time, there’s nothing he wants more than to luxuriate in the silence Lan Zhan asks for. He’s never been good at it, keeping his mouth shut, but it’s something he’s learned how to do. In this instance, it’s rather nice. Like this, he can simply enjoy Lan Zhan as he sits and reads, deceptively gentle, content to ignore Wei Wuxian, or at least pretend to.
For a time, the position and circumstances are novel enough that he doesn’t feel any of the burning humiliation that builds within him, the perfect counterpoint to the steady arousal of his body, but eventually, it’s all he can think about. And because he has been tasked with remaining silent, he can’t divert himself from it, not even as he hardens, as his body remembers that a toy is pressing against the most intimate places inside of him.
Of its own accord, his body clenches around the intrusion, barely moving, but even that small action thrills him, dragging a whimper from his mouth as he stills again and straightens his already straight shoulders.
Lan Zhan glances up, eyebrow quirked, and resumes reading, one corner of his mouth pulled up in amusement. Wei Wuxian hopes he’s enjoying this, and hopes even more that Lan Zhan will spoil him when they’re done.
Or will spoil him more anyway. He always seems to spoil Wei Wuxian, even when it’s not necessary. Though it’s not something he shies away from, it’s also not something he’s allowed himself to consider in such terms before, Lan Zhan spoiling him because he’s behaved well.
“Could you come on command, do you think?” Lan Zhan asks as he flips a page in the book he’s reading. “Like this?”
“Ah?” Wei Wuxian asks, his brain catching up with him too slowly to remember he is to be silent. He shrugs his shoulders and hopes that isn’t breaking their game either. An ornament shouldn’t move either, he would imagine, even if Lan Zhan hasn’t explicitly said anything about it.
“Right now?”
Wei Wuxian shakes his head.
“What would you need to reach that point?”
Lan Zhan has asked him a direct question, surely he can answer? Or maybe he’s simply expected to show Lan Zhan. For a brief span of seconds, Wei Wuxian shifts his weight back, driving the toy just a shade deeper. The pleasure is beyond what he might have imagined possible back when he first put it together, made all the more potent by Lan Zhan’s gaze, following the slightest motion of Wei Wuxian’s body.
Lan Zhan nods almost imperceptibly. “Stop when you’re close.”
Wei Wuxian exhales, follows the order. The minutes stretch and pull, organized around the slow rock of Wei Wuxian’s body against the toy. Whenever Lan Zhan looks at him, his expression is hotter, more pointed. The tent in his trousers, even half hidden by the book he’s holding, is obvious and prominent.
By the time he can rightly say he’s close, his muscles are trembling and his skin is sheened in sweat. It’s almost more difficult to stop himself now that he’s started, but after a few false stops, he manages it, breathing heavily. He twitches, nervous, as he waits for Lan Zhan to return his attention to Wei Wuxian.
Lan Zhan looks up, stands, comes over and holds Wei Wuxian’s chin in his hand. He strokes Wei Wuxian’s hair back from his sweaty forehead.
“Come for me,” Lan Zhan says suddenly, sharply. The order wraps tightly around the parts of Wei Wuxian’s mind, tumbling him over the edge, demanding that he give Lan Zhan what he’s asking for. Eyes tightly closed and lips bitten to keep from speaking, he sways forward against Lan Zhan’s thigh. As he spends, fluids dripping down his shaft, the toy slips from within him, making him cry out in surprise, forcing another pulse of spend from his body.
Though he’s failed to keep quiet, Lan Zhan murmurs praise, pets his head, pulls him stumbling to his feet and hugs him close as he begins to dismantle the cuffs and posture trainer. Rubbing Wei Wuxian’s skin, Lan Zhan leads him back to the bedroom. Once he’s clean, Lan Zhan lies down with him, body pressed close, his own need obvious, if not urgent, a comfort to Wei Wuxian, proof that Lan Zhan liked it.
“Lan Zhan, how would you punish me if you could?” Wei Wuxian whispers as Lan Zhan spoons behind him and noses at his neck.
“I feel no need to punish you when you tried so hard for me,” Lan Zhan says. “Only when you wish to cause mischief or purposefully disobey me. This doesn’t meet those criteria.” He quiets for a short time. “I hope you don’t see what we will do together as punishment.”
“Punishment can be fun, Lan Zhan.” He can’t say more unless he wants to make an embarrassment of himself when he’s already gotten off. “But you’re right. It doesn’t feel like punishment to me, the thought of getting to be with you that way. The opposite, really. More like a gift?” He wrinkles his nose. That’s too cheesy to say, isn’t it?
Lan Zhan kisses the back of his neck. “Soon. Soon, Wei Ying. I promise.”
Wei Wuxian reaches back and captures Lan Zhan’s hand with his own, squeezing it.
“I’m glad it’s the same for you,” Lan Zhan whispers later, as though he’s sharing in a secret he expects to be rejected.
But Wei Wuxian won’t reject him, not ever, and especially not for this.